Issues of life…

How are dealing with your self esteem?

Do you struggle with your personal self esteem? How do you view yourself? Do you point out all of your flaws and wish they could be different? What about your hair, eyes, nose, fingers and toes? You weight, hips, thighs, stomach, head…. do you wish they were different?

I was sitting her wondering how many ladies feel like they are not good enough…. pretty enough…. skinny enough……. You know there is no perfect figure. Each person has their likes and dislikes about what they can see in a person. What you may love someone else may hate; what you hate someone else may love.

The first step in building up your self esteem is to accept you for you. Find out who you really are and get to know yourself. Many times we go through life being our personal appearance and self value on what others make us out to be.

I use to take what others has said about me and wish that I were different. When I was growing up I was really skinny, straight up and down. My glasses were huge. I picked them out because I liked them. The were really big and red. When I went to school, people laughed at me for a long time. But, my mother told me to ignore what people said and that I be myself no matter what.

My mother allowed me to live out my identity even though I had flaws. If I felt like singing, she would let me sing; even though I was too loud. If I felt like dancing, she would let me dance. I would later realize that I did not have the rhythm to be a dancer. I discovered my talents and abilities on my own but she allowed me to try it first and let me see the results. After I lost her, I had to find my way. I didn’t have that person there to encourage me to be me so I wanted to dress like my cousins. So, after I tried to be like someone else, I found out very quickly that I didn’t want their results.

I was not the type to go after boys. I was brought up not being able to wear pants or make up. Then when I would sneak and try to do something that was out of my comfort zone, I got the results that I was not expecting. If I wore the make up and put on pants behind my grandmothers back, I would get so convicted. Then you get the boys hitting on you at school. I hated that. I can remember listening to the R&B music and not knowning what they were talking about. I song a R&B song in the talent show because my friends a school thought it would be a good idea. My grandmother got a whole to the tape and she didn’t ask any questions. After that I knew that I was making the biggest mistake of teenage years.

Self esteem. I struggled with it after I lost that one person that was molding me into living out who I really was. Trying to be like everyone else when really, I just needed to be myself. I needed to be me and I needed someone there that would encourage me to flow in my gifts, and manage my flaws. I needed that someone that covered me when I messed up and wouldn’t dog me out.

As I grew older, it was still a battle. What are they going to say? What do they think about me? What will their response be? People…People…People…People…. I later found out that they didn’t control my destiny. The only person that I needed to be concerned about if I was accepted was “me”. I had to accept myself.

The girl, who always took an ugly picture. Who hated the fact that she was too skinny for anyone to notice her. The one that had talent behind the scenes found herself. But, it wasn’t until I found myself in God until I learned who I really was.

I learned that I created in the image of God. I learned that he knew me before the foundation of this world, while I was in my mothers womb he called me. I learned that the gifts that he had given me was given to me for the perfecting of others. So, the part of me needing to know the response of others is important. But, I don’t allow the reaction of others to control who I am and mold me into something response would have me to be.

God showed me some things. He showed me that when I am totally tuned into what he saying, I will totally walk out my purpose in life.  Then you have that battle. The battle between what God has bestowed upon  you in the spirit versus what the flesh is fearful of doing. I needed my spirit to take over my flesh to win the battle.  The only way that this could happen if I learn how to walk in the spirit of God and get the mind of Christ. Letting the mind of Christ Jesus be also within me. The only way I can do that is by reading and mediating on the word of God. Being able to say that “I can do all things through Christ which empowers me with strength.”

See if I feel weak in my spirit, I can never fully accomplish my purpose. My fleshy self esteem issues will win the battle of not being good enough. Then my real purpose in life is short circuited because I allow myself to be weak minded.  I must walk in the spirit in order to be STRONG. I may have flaws but my spirit doesn’t see the flaws, it see perfection!  I notice that I really can do all things through Christ. I notice that God created me with gifts abilities and talents and the only way that he could get the glory out of them if I found out who I really was and accepted that, in the spirit.

 Remember the prayer of serenity:

“God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.”

by Reinhold Niebuhr

My final words for this post:

1. Be you

2. Discover the real you in God!

3. Be a blessing to others by being yourself!

TaWana  S.